Bittersweet Life...

Monday, March 07, 2005

i spent my whole sunday afternoon dldin songs... i think over 100 songs. believe it or not. and i spent over 5 hrs in front of the comp w/o budging coz i was pissed with my parents. yes... once i again, they are being unreasonable.

there'll be an upcoming npcc camp, and damn, i really want to go. i asked my mum, she was sooo reluctant to say yes, so she said she'll talked to my dad. u noe wat? obviously, the ans is no. so much havin gd results for Os.... i dun understand y they wouldnt let me go. and my mom is juz so... i dunno lah. like when dad says no, tt's it... i mean, y cant she say sth if she thinks it'll alrite for me to go? i dun understand this at all... i miss the NP ppl back at siglap... i miss the cadets. i miss the times when i get all hyper and cranky in the wee hrs of the morn, tryin so hard to stay up and have. i miss saboing ppl... i miss kena sabo. really... if this is the case, i dun think i can be a CI.... i feel so useless and tired talking and quarrelin with my dad about this.... abt y he cant let go... i didnt feel like askin him y i cant go yesterday even i had the chance to... all i did yesterday was shut up and fixed my eyes on the comp screen....

parents can be the two ppl whom u love sooo much, but then, the next moment, they could be the ones tt u juz wanna ignore when they dun understand u. i dunno if u ppl get me... but, yeah. to me, parents do have our best interests at heart and so, they have all these high expectations so tt we'll succeed. in return, sometimes, they'll give us rewards... and u could feel happy tt u've done well and gotten wat u always wanted. but sometimes, i feel tt i've worked so hard so tt i can be in my parents' gd books... so tt i can show them im not the typical girls tt my dad works with.. u noe, those troubled girls who always hang ard outside. well, tt's their mindset. maybe coz of tt they dun let me out so often... and i think tt's unfair. tt they dun trust me. their daughter. and my social life sucks. but tt's besides the pt... i dun understand parents. not onli mine, but those parents's of my close frens.... those mly parents. typical ones, u noe. those who tell their children to do well... in this case, so tt their children will do better than the other relatives. i hate tt kind of competition... coz, why should the care so much bout tt kinda comp? coz they're afraid they'll lose face? tt's ridiculous... it's like forcin ur child doin sth beyond their reach. and those parents who said they talk to their children with an open mind. well, tt's juz a statemt. coz my parents told me they can talk to me. but the 'talk' turns out to be a-blame-me-for-not-thinkin-and not-to-think-as-if-u're-all-grown-up kinda lecture....

i dunno wat was my pt... but, hey, it's a blog. it's the onli place where i can vent my anger w/o anyone yelling back to my face.

yunique: i cant tag at ur board dearie... not tt i dun want to. thanks for droppin by ya... take care. do sth to ur taggi soon...

Smashed into pieces at 3/07/2005 09:55:00 AM